I Know The Plans I Have For You (Wedding Sermon for David and Anja Durfee)

Dear Anja and David,

Grace and peace are yours in abundance in your knowledge of God and your Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.

God’s Word for this day of blessing is found in Jeremiah chapter 29 verse 11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This is the Word of the Lord.

“I know the plans I have for you…” Indeed, the Lord God has allowed an incredible plan to unfold in your lives. Elsewhere in Scripture, in the book of Isaiah, we hear: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord, and to that you might say, “boy, that’s the truth.” Not too long ago, your plans and your thoughts may not have included becoming husband and wife to another—but here you are, at the direction of your loving heavenly Father. And so today is a day of great rejoicing, as we humbly and gratefully trust in the plans God has made for you.

Clearly, God knows the plans he has for us, as it says in Jeremiah. The problem from our perspective is that although He may know the plan, it doesn’t always seem like He’s telling us the plan, at least as fully as we might like. At the time, God’s plan seems to us like a brick wall or a dead end. If we’re being optimistic, we might call it Plan B. But over time I have come to learn that, when you submit your life to God, the “B” in Plan B stands for Blessing.

One small example of that happens to come from our own wedding day. I had made reservations with the Ritz Carlton in Cleveland for our wedding night. After driving through a severe thunderstorm to get downtown, we were told that our room was still occupied and there were no other rooms available. After explaining our circumstances to the hotel representative, we were ultimately sent east to the hotel on the grounds of the Cleveland Clinic. With rising hope we were escorted to our room, only to find that the room key didn’t work. More waiting and checking ensued. When our bellhop finally reappeared, he got us back on the elevator and pushed the button for the very top floor. The doors opened to a kind of luxurious accommodation that I had never seen before and will definitely never see again, and later we were told that this is where the oil magnates stay when they’re in town to be seen by the Clinic doctors. Plan B, we learned, stands for “Blessing,” and that principle has held true in our marriage for close to twelve years now.

David, Anja, I think you can relate to the idea that Plan B stands for “Blessing.” The plans that God had for each of you included each other. Who would’ve thought? Well, God did, and that actually provides a wonderful basis for a married relationship. When you are convinced that your Almighty God and Father is responsible for bringing the two of you together, you stand on the strongest foundation possible. Your starting point for relating to each other is that God intends for you to have and to hold one another. David is God’s gift to you. Anja is the Lord’s to you. What satisfaction there is in knowing that your union is really God’s idea.

And yet we must acknowledge that we can frustrate the plans that God has for us. We do that when we make selfish choices and when we do not forgive as we have been forgiven. In marriage, we can frustrate the plans God has for us when we think in terms of “me” instead of “we.” And I think it is interesting to note that when the Lord first spoke the words “I know the plans I have for you…” He was speaking them to the rebellious people of Israel. He was telling them that they would have to live away from Jerusalem for seventy years because of their hard-heartedness! They literally could not go home again—to the land God had given them—because they had turned their backs on Him. God was enforcing the consequences of their actions, in hopes that they would repent…in hopes that they would wake up and realize what they had done…in hopes that they would return in humility to the one who truly loved them. Even as He is punishing them, God gives away His inmost thoughts. He tells his wandering children, “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” What love is packed into these words!

I bring up the context of this passage because the success of a marriage is not based on how strong your feelings are toward one another, but how well you can forgive each other. That is so crucial, I will say it again. The success of a marriage is not based on how strong your feelings are toward one another, but how well you can forgive each other. What God wanted from His people was a change of heart. He wanted them to return to Him, so that forgiveness and reconciliation could happen. When your relationship is put to the test, and you must know that it will be, remember that this is what the Lord wants for your marriage as well. Come to each other in humility. When you do wrong, admit it. Confess your sins and return to one another. Forgive one another from the heart, just as in Christ Jesus God forgave you. In this way you will be living according to the plan he has for the two of you.
David and Anja, it is a special privilege to proclaim God’s Word to you on your wedding day, because I know that you will take it to heart. Therefore I say to you, continue to trust in God’s plans; place your mutual hope in Jesus Christ crucified and risen, and enjoy your future together. Celebrate His gifts as husband and wife; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.